The Cost of Loving Children Who Aren't Legally Yours

Many people help raise children who are not biologically related to them— step-parents, long-term partners, grandparents, and others who become parents in every way that matters except on paper.

I was one of those people.

For seven years I helped raise two children whom I loved as my own.

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Although I was never their biological or adoptive parent, I was a daily caregiver, co-parent, advocate, chauffeur, cook, homework helper, comforter, and constant presence in their lives. When I made the difficult decision to leave my relationship, I faced the heartbreaking reality that the law did not automatically recognize the role I had played in raising them.

Over the course of nearly two years, I sought legal advice, gathered evidence, worked with professionals, and ultimately pursued legal recognition as a psychological parent. Through the Colorado Family Court system, I fought for the opportunity to maintain a relationship with the children I helped raise.

The effort came at an enormous financial cost. The process lasted more than a year and a half and resulted in over $90,000 in legal debt.

Although I was granted standing as a psychological parent, I ultimately did not obtain the parenting time I sought. The emotional and financial toll has been substantial.

I am asking for help paying down that debt so I can move forward and continue building resources and awareness for others facing similar situations.

My hope is that by sharing my experience, I can help shine a light on the challenges faced by psychological parents and others whose family bonds are real, even when the law struggles to recognize them.

If you know me personally, thank you for your friendship and support. If you have found this page through my writing or advocacy work, thank you for taking the time to learn my story. If you want to learn more about my experience or how you can get involved, please visit my website at thepsychologicalparent.com.

Whether you choose to donate, share this fundraiser, or simply send words of encouragement, I am grateful.

Every contribution helps.

Thank you.