Hey guys my name is Jess! I'm 36 & live in clear lake with my three-year-old son and my 3 pets. I'm from Napa i came here 5 years ago to take care of my mom after my dad passed away. Mom passed away almost exactly a year ago. I was Was the sole camera for mom who was completely disabled and could not walk I put my medical needs on the back burner and I didn't get medical treatment for my lupus for for almost 5 years. It just was not possible I didn't have the time or even arrived I couldn't commit to any appointment and still can't actually but I promised my mom i would start treatment right away and i still haven't I'm sorry to say. I have major organ involvement in my disease, & one of my complications, is I damaged valves in my heart that I need surgery for or I will die. Lupus is a very complex disease and can affect any part of the body. Referrals and appointments are time consuming and tedious I'm trying to raise $7500 so that I can purchase a vehicle, to get to appointments, pay for child and pet care during my recovery, and put food in the house and pay the bills for a month or 2. I just don't think there's a point in starting if I can't make commitments on actually showing up. Also, I don't have anybody to ask I've asked all that I can or help with food and everything elseverything else and although I fed the cats and my baby I'm still so hungry right now I could cry. I can't breathe my ankles are so swollen I can't even hardly get to the bathroom anymore & sometimes cant get out of bed. Just feel so heavy and tired. I'm Just really ashamed because I should have done better to care for myself. Can't afford to fail when I have mouths that are counting on me to keep them fed to keep them safe to be here.If I make it out of this I will give back I love helping people I love being outside I love camping animals music I love cars I love life it shouldn't be like this I have a lot I can offer the world! I can do it I know I can I just need a little hand up that's all! I appreciate it you guys, I love you guys. Be safe, and loving in this uncertain world. Be kind to each other... the world needs it.