Need Help ASAP: I CAN't GO BACK OR ILL END UP DEAD>>>OR WORSE>>>>

So I know people think there is nothing worse than death. They are wrong. What is worse is being drugged and abuse to the point where your mind like shuts off. This is only one example of what has happened to me. I remember this moment in the hospital where there was this voice or thought that just came to me it was like, "you can stay like this forever and the struggle and the pain will be over".... and then there was another very dominant strong males voice that hit me so hard it was like a physical thing. It said " OR YOU CAN FIGHT" and then I was slammed back to my body and that is the first clear memory I have asides from fragmented micro memories. I have 2 children with this man and the last instance was extreme but the emotional and physical abuse happened daily. I have been gas-lighted to the point where he would tell me I did something (that I knew I didn't do) and I would truly wonder if I was crazy and he was telling the truth. By the end of it I would be apologizing and accepting punishments for things that I never said OR did. I was finally able to get away because he was picked up on a warrant. I was put out of his apartment by his family, and have been just going where I am welcome in the meantime....which is wearing my welcome out. There aren't too many people left in my life because he did what he could to sabotage my relationships and get me to only have him to rely on. This makes it hard when it comes to finding a place to go, and to be honest that has put me in some questionable situations.

I am literally trying to get any help that I can to get a car and to get a place. I would even be willing to stay in a tent or a camper, which is probably what I will do if there is any money that comes from this cry for help. I also need a car. I am needing to get to mental health appointmentsand support groups to try and recover.

PLEASE IF YOU CAN HELP YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT WILL CHANGE MY LIFE: my biggest fear is that he will come home and I will have to go back because I have no one else and no financial freedom to do anything else. Also, if I end up getting enough for these things I would love to have contact information for follow up. That way you can see what your help did, and if your hoping for someone to pay it forward, well you have met the right person. I will never forget this .I hope in 6 months I will be living on my own with a job and a car and an apartment. The things that most people don't think twice about having... I will never be able to be that kind of person again.

PS NO PICS FOR SAFETY BUT IF YOU WANT TO CONTACT ME amberwalters151@gmail