Hi! My name is Julia. By the summer of 2019, I was 30 years old, living a bright, healthy, and happy life. Working in the field of addiction treatment, I had finally found my calling in helping and encouraging others to start their lives anew. My work was fast-pace, but I was faster! It brought me such joy to bring hope to the clients I worked with, that it hardly ever felt like work. I planned a future to become a nurse, inspired by brave and brilliant nursed I work with; my life was beautifully ahead of me.

Unfortunately, July of that same summer, I began developing symptoms; joint pain, muscle weakness, constant fatigue, migraines, dizziness, shortness of breath. I couldn't climb the stairs to my apartment building, the stairs at work that I would climb countless times in a 12 hour shift. The pain in my joints and muscles became so bad that I couldn't go to work anymore and spend nearly everyday in bed. My life has remained that way ever since.

After countless blood drawings, specialists and minsdiagnosises, I finally met with a cardiologist referred by another doctor to rule out something called dysautonomia. After a short test it turns out that's exactly what I have. POTS syndrome to be more specific. The doctor explained that my automatic nervous system had become “faulty”. So automatic things that your body does on it's own, blood circulation, body temperature, heart beat, digestion don't work normally anymore. My heart has to work extra hard to pump my blood because my nerves will no longer help my body distribute blood to all areas. He said that it's like my body is slamming on the gas with the emergency break on.

There is no distinct cure for POTS. There are medications I am on to help manage my heart rate and blood pressure, but my pain and fatigue are constant. I was also diagnosed with hyper mobility EDS, which is heritable and causes weakened connective tissue on the body. hEDS also makes you prone to POTS.

When I walk it is very slowly with a limp, followed by heavy breathing and sweating. My heart beats out of my chest just from brushing my hair, or getting dressed. I shower sitting down. I can't work. I can't make plans due to not knowing when I have a symptom flair up. But most of my days are in bed.

My financial stability is nonexistent. I went from planning my future to not knowing how I will pay my next months rent. I have gotten by that past year with help from family, and temporary disability from the state. I have a pending case to collect permanent disability, but these cases take very long to be determined and most cases around granted with a first attempt. With the temp disability having run out. I am in fear that I will lose my apartment. I am in fear in general. I feel helpless and anxious everyday. I'm not one to ask for or accept help. I pride myself on being a self supporting young woman. But my life has been taken from my by my invisible illness.

I beg whoever is reading this, to please help me survive. I don't know what else to do. Thank you for reading my story. If spearing awareness of POTS is all I am able to achieve then I'll be happy. I try to keep faith that my higher power will do what's right for me. God Bless you.