Hi, I’m Diane, and If nothing else, I guess the next 2 things below:

1. Your time to read this.. well, I am asking for money...I may as well for your time if possible.

2. Your wallet to open (preferably wide), and please laugh or smile, I am still Alive so that counts for something. And no cruel or mean message back. I promise you, life is doing it just fine.

Here’s the rundown:

I’ve been living life on survival mode for… well, ever.

I’m a case worker helping people through hell while secretly living in my own. Selfishly, it gets me up everyday and I gives me at leaat a decent feeling of " I did something today" and not " you are a failure".

Recently collected TWO incurable but “livable” diseases—because apparently one wasn’t enough. And when doctors says incurable that follows with LIVABLE, please someone tell me...what the hell??? I GUESS I MAY OR MAY NOT DIE SOON. Ok that was a little morbit but that's how I felt laughing so hard that my Dr. Seriously thought of keeping me for a psych evaluation. Thank God he had a little bit of dry humor

Beat cancer not once, not twice, but THREE freaking times. (Insert middle finger at cancer here.)

Ok, lets continue..

Lost my dad to dementia (we gave him the most dignified send-off possible and he sure tried his best leaving us at 88 years old. Even when his mind was pretty much gone, he would remember his latin just to say " In Vino Veritas" well, he didn't even drink anymore!!! He was leaving us since the day my mom died of cancer, and by God she was a fighter till her last breath. She truly is the reason I am still here today. Her fight to that disease gave me awarness and strength to fight it myself when I almost gave up. Anytime I felt sorry for myself, I could picture her telling me: " i didn't raise you to give up, so put keep your head high,your shoulder straight, and a smile on your face. You still have a brain that works, and a body that moves, and priviledged to be breathing . So you put your two feet forward and deal with it. Tomorrow is another day. Well..I am putting my 2 feet forward, my head high and my proud aside.

Well, I forgot to add that my family and I survived three wars and a genocide because I like to keep my trauma résumé stacked. But its the truth and we all has second chances or at least chances to try to survive ans thrive. Well, some of us had harder card of what's called life.

Now I’m 44, broke, exhausted, and still helping others while barely keeping myself afloat. I’m also driving “Ursula,” my car with more attitude than reliability. She literally whispers, “Try me and I’ll end your dreams,” every time I turn the key. To be fair, she’s been patient with me got old with me, and cranky with tragedy and time. She’s trying her best to tell me she is tired too, and may have to leave me stranded on the side of the road like on of these days, I hear her saying to me: “ I did my best, but for God's sake Figure it out, girl.” And I do hear her, and I AM TRYING.

Never thought, I will be writing this but Ego doesn't go with my reality and my proud shouldn't dictate possibly for better events if its comes for strangers.

So here I am..and if you ask why that amount..well, honestly. That would be what could barely do a dent but may not be a reality! At this point, honest and humble is what I got.

Maybe I will have that many smile reading this..May not help my life but may give some good vibes coming my way even though we all know what I truly wish and need selfishly and tiredly.

Some people might say this is a scam. Fair. Either way, what do I have to lose trying anyways.

So yeah, I’m here asking and

simply saying...I REALLY NEED A BREAK, I NEED HELP. Not just money (though let’s be real, money would realky help), but for:

A doctor who will actually fight for me.

Family thay doesn't look at me defeated and ashamed that they cant help. Or give me this pity look( maybe just sad look if I am being honest)

A house where kids can run barefoot on the grass. And I can say, I have successed, I have earned, I have tried, I am still here!!! And enjoy life without my heart out of my chest constantly.

A car that doesn’t send me passive-aggressive “oil change, please” notifications every five minutes.

To not lose my chessy attitude working with homelessness veterans, or disable youth or even my "beautiful insane client" as they lovingly say to me while being told you can always ask for government help. Well, I know this too well telling my clients, we will get there after I know recognize that look of still waiting for "there".

So there...This is me putting my pride aside and trying something new. I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow to $1, $100, or hate mail, but either way… thank you for reading. Laugh with me but not at me, cry for me but not too long, or donate if you can. At least if you read this so far..Ain't that something!!!

—Diane