Hi all~ This is the LAST thing I want to be doing, but I've been in crisis mode for so long now, I don't know what else to do. I'll try to make this short. First, I've had severe health issues - one after another for many years, until they all caught up to me at the same time. Two very, bad dangerous infections have ravaged my body for years; STAPH (MRSA), which I acquired after my 12th neck surgery, and then, Pseudomonas, which is equally as wickedly dangerous as MRSA. So, back to my Infectious Disease Dr.I went, who treated me for my neck infection 14 years ago; once you get MRSA, it just never goes away; I've been on massive IV antibiotic infusions on & off for over a year. The infections destroyed the enamel off of my (once perfect) teeth. I had to have ALL (25) of my teeth pulled a couple of weeks ago, with complications~ the most brutal, painful experience of my life. I'm still recovering~ I've got temporary dentures. I will need better, permanent ones in a few months after all the shards of my jawbone get removed. Figures - my insurance won't cover my permanent dentures @ $2K. I've had a chest catheter to administer IV antibiotics twice daily for the infections. I've been hospitalized almost every month this past year, for one reason or another. So now that the infection is hopefully under control, I can have much-needed back surgery (I will need to start the antibiotics again before back surgery)

I'm facing major lumbar back surgery (T-12~L5 with massive hardware), then possibly a hip replacement. I was too sick even to recertify my Medicaid. I've since recertified my Medicaid, but I owe the hospitals, doctors, and ambulances a lot of $$. ~ SO, enough about me.

Many of you know about the love of my life: my sweet, challenging (protective) beloved, pure black, PURE bred German Shepherd XANDER puppy of mine. Well, while I was out training him {with nobody around), we were approached by a woman, whom he ended up biting (damn it ~ I told her to stand still!). I, of course, got a citation for "Intact Vicious & Potentially Dangerous Animal", among a couple of other charges. There's a litany of requirements if I plead guilty, one of which is the City (that I don't even live in) will require me to have XANDER neutered, among huge fines, probation, and restitution to the "victim".The one thing I will not do is have XANDER neutered; his certified Pedigree goes back 4 generations straight from Germany; he is magnificent, unlike any GSD I've ever had. Xander is Show-dog, police/military dog quality and I might decide to breed him in the future. There are also many scientific health reasons why I will not have him neutered. Since I will not plead guilty to ALL the charges (even though he did bite her), I will not agree to cut his puppy balls off. I've done my best to train my stubborn, opinionated 110lb (but very sweet to me), protective Xander puppy... with NO help whatsoever at home, anyway... He does have a trainer, who I owe thousands of dollars to for helping me out with Xander so much. When I've been out of commission & in the hospital so much, I wasn't able to follow up with his training as much as he needed; we're playing catch-up with his training (while I'm 1/2 paralyzed~but I'm committed to him). So, I'm fighting the charges and need to provide the city attorney with mitigating information as to why I will not have him neutered. When I go back to court, I will be ordered to pay the "victim" all her medical bills, restitution, insane court costs, and whatever she might sue me for (she did get bit pretty good... but I told her to stay back!) I'm in no way victim-shaming here.

So, then 2+ years ago, at 8:00 on a Saturday morning, I had an "incident" with another driver while pulling into a parking space at a convenience store; he backed out as I pulled into a parking space; my mirror is still broken; I tried to exchange insurance info; The dude didn't speak English & called 911. I was then arrested for "DUI". 2+ years later I got arrested & spent the nite in jail. I had to hire an attorney @ $600 per hour to fight the charges. Come to find out, my blood test showed NO alcohol in my system, so the charges will dropped. However, I've had to pay my attorney, and I still owe him A LOT of money. STUPID! But at least I'm not going to jail! Damn! Gotta love those overzealous cops!

My roof is leaking; I'm waiting until it comes crashing down; insurance won't cover the damage. I'm afraid if I don't get it fixed before winter it's going to come crashing down (perfect).

My friends... it feels like the sky is falling and everything is crashing down around me; shit ~ just my health issues are overwhelming... then add everything else ~ I'm so overwhelmed. Those of you who know me know that I'm a fighter - a survivor ~ and I keep fighting, but with everything hitting me at once, I'm losing it badly. I'm trying to cope, while at the end of my rope. I'm not asking for a hand-out... just a hand-up so I will be able to heal from these back & hip surgeries.

Any help ($5) will help pull me out of this desolate situation that I've been in for so long. I have to get healthy enough to even have my back surgery ~ so that I can be able to have some quality of life and resume my life. The stress of it everything will make it impossible for me to recover and get back to life.

Thank you... I love and treasure you all.💜❤😊