Okay, so this is a vulnerable ask. I'm nervous asking, but I know I need you. I know I need you.

For those who don't know me...

Hi, my name is Sirius Heart. I am a white, mad, disabled and neuroqueer (autistic/cptsd/BPD) nonbinary trans and queer somatic practitioner. For the past 4.5 years, I've been providing community centric somatic and therapeutic support to queer and trans folks both in Tucson AZ and around the world (I have had clients in multiple states as well as Canada, the UK, and Germany). Central to my work has been the ethic of noncarceral care that is centered in disability justice and centering those most impacted by carceral mental health and the medical industrial health complex.

I have made some headway on my finances in the past year, and currently have more financial security (and a small, actual emergency savings) than I did previous.

However, unfortunately, that headway was to the detriment of my body and emotional health. I chose to work a lot harder in order to try and get some of my basic needs met. That, plus the systematic destruction of my personal connections such that I have really functionally -NO- super close people where I live, has resulted in massive burn out for me.

(i'm working on the close friends thing, and i have some friends i'm trying to build with - hi friends! - but we're not quite there yet)

Due to this burn out, I need to take an extended medical leave. I'm hoping to take a 1 month leave and during this time, to tend to my emotional and physical needs in a deep way. I'm also hoping to spend some time in a community in which I can offer service but also be held in community in a more clear, direct way and maybe recover from the toll of the trauma of the last 4 years.

I recognize that everyone is struggling in different ways right now, so if you are struggling especially in a big financial way, please don't give to this fundraiser unless you really feel moved to. That said, I am asking for support to take a leave. Though I do have an emergency savings (meant to cover things like rent if I lose clients), I don't have a fund to take leave. As a self-employed person, I don't have access to medical leave through my work.

I also know that healing work like what I offer is -MEANT- to be held in community. It's not meant for me to hold on my own. this is a tangible way that I am asking for you, my community, to hold me.

It's my intention, if I don't receive funds here, to take out a loan to cover my leave. I hate that, because I've just been able to pay off a significant chunk of debt, but it's my current option. So I wanted to ask for y'alls support, as my community, before I take out a loan.

What you would be supporting if you help cover my leave:

-rent for while I'm out on leave

-cost to cover pet care

-cost to cover travel during leave

-cost of emotional + physical care like craniosacral therapy, places to stay in quiet and rest, reconnection back to my ancestral lands

-time for me to remember my own self + desires outside of just being a practitioner

-the continuance of really deep, supportive, transformative trauma care for radical queer and trans folks, most of whom are mad, chronically ill, and trying to fuck shit up. i wish i could share the stories of my people i sit with daily, because they are all so amazing and i know you all would love them and want to support them too. and I know the more i am supported, the more they will be able to be supported.

I know my work is meaningful and valuable to the community and the world. I see it firsthand every day on how I'm able to show up for people. I see it in the ways I push the limits of what liberation looks like and try to create a world that is actually meaningful for all of us. This ask is actually part of that. I haven't gotten here alone (as much as my internalized white supremacist wants to try for!) and I can't continue alone. I need y'all.

I believe y'all value those things + value me, so I wanted to ask first for your support to cover care for me so I can keep doing the heart work I value more than anything. Again, please only give if you're able, aka, if you only have $20 in your bank account, do not donate to me. xo

(that said, if you have a family inheritance or a trust fund or something or just access to extra money, and want to support care of disabled and mad queer and trans ppl, please be generous lol)

I'm planning to take out a large loan to cover both leave + the extensive care I need, what you contribute here will cut down on the amount I have to take out.

If you'd rather help via other means:

V: siriusheart

CA: healingembodied

P: healembodied at gmail

or you can become an ongoing supporter by signing up for my membership! that would be so rad tbh! https://ko-fi.com/spiderwebsomatics