When I was growing up, if someone had told me that someday my life would become a long line of one difficulty after another, I would have called you a liar. I mean, who could possibly know better than me, about what the future had in store for my life? If you had told me that I would grow up, get married, have the most perfect little baby boy to ever exist, and then suddenly, I would turn around and find myself divorced and alone. A failure at 25. I'd have called you crazy. If you'd told me that my beautiful little brother who was somehow born blessed, who charmed every single person he'd ever met by simply smiling at them, would die in a car accident before he was really old enough to experience what life held for him, I would have laughed at your absurdity. More ridiculous than that even, if you'd told me that the tight-knit relationship I shared with my mom, the one that all my friends and their mothers were so envious of, would slowly fall apart while we weren't looking, and that it wasn't something we would ever know how to repair after all of the shit life was going to put in our paths, surely I'd have rolled my eyes. Since none of these things could ever possibly happen, I definitely wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me that at 41 I'd be diagnosed with breast cancer. Or that somehow the beautiful life that the younger me always knew I'd live was just a stupid fantasy of a young naive girl, and absolutely not even attainable, maybe there's a chance I'd have been more prepared for how to handle it all. Maybe I'd have known that no matter how hard i worked, or how many jobs i had, housing would always be something just out if reach, or that when I finally got a nice car, it would end up totalled before I even had it a year. It was not my intention to wine to you, or to make you feel sorry for me. I hate to even have to ask you for help. But I Need a car that works so that I can keep going to the jobs I am so lucky to have while others pound the pavement in search of employment. I Need a car that works to take me to the doctor that is six hours away that I have been fortunate enough to have working on my side to make sure my cancer doesn't cone back. And I absolutely need a car that works so that I can continue to find out what the universe has planned for me down the road. Please help me fix my car so that I can keep living my life. I really appreciate anything you can do to help. Thank you.