my name is Brittany and I am 19 years old I have always found my self to be bubbly and able to get along with anyone and basically able deal with anything I have always been a very enthusiastic goal oriented hard working selfless caring person who always put everyone I love before my self with the belief that's how it should be and even though my life (like hurricane Katrina) has in the blink of an eye became detrimentally devastated I remain positive! May I elaborate?

MY MOTHER HAD 6 children which is divided into 1 boys and 5 Girls and apparently every one of us had our own dad which meant my siblings where very mixed in race each one of us is very unique physical appearance and have our very own perception of reality and ideas 💡on what we consider  the definition of "RIGHT AND WRONG" is! And because my mother used heroine morphin and acid since she was 15 years old non stop she was beyond addicted and wasn't really home much infact I have memories of her being absolutely unfindable for so long that my little brother near died from starvation several times! So basically we raised our selves I remember my mom stayed away for 2 years after leaving us in a mobile home parked in the is dark dirty ally.

But I never let anything bother me I knew once mom left we had to pickup the slack because there's no telling when she's coming back and because traveled to California none of our family was close enough to come check on us, family or no family I refuse to starve or sit outside for days waiting for mom to come down enough to remember where she left us so I would ask strangers for change and once I'd make $5 I would go to 99 cents store and buy 16 bars of  candy for $5 dollars and me my identical twin sister and my old sister would save those 16 candy bars for 32 dollars and keep doing that from the time we hit out of school until sunset and we quickly learned how to survive and had a great time I can remember by the end of the night we made 3-5 hundred dollars but my oldes sister was only 9 years old and me and my twin where 7 years old and we continue each day selling candy and the money we made we were able to use for food washing clothes paying rent ect and we where young so basically I felt I was ready for anything......,

until......

two years ago my twin the baby sister napped

we woke up that morning to found the baby MY IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER hung her self in her room

i discovered her lifeless body hanging and immediately thought she was going to make it that was until my mother and old sister helped me get lay her down and I had a chance to look at her that I knew their was no reviving her and because we had absolutely nothing growing up we didn't have insurance or any money for a funeral so I cried quickly late at night and tried to fix all the problems and remain level headed in front of my family worried how I would bury my twin sister and  in between the funeral paying to fix all the problems which lead to this tragedy to begin with and paying my own rent lights gas phone I had broke down 

the staight A  motivated college student I had know myself to be had completely disappeared I dropped out of school and just because someone I didn't think I would've became my will and drive for life which was my twin sister was just in a instant gone the girl that I spent every day with for 17years was no longer here and although it hurt everyone I felt like I had raised her and she had raised me and honestly I thought I would cry myself in to a heart attack!

so nowadays I've started getting back into school because I'm studying cosmetology and although this is my first semester I feel joyful when I'm learning and studying so as a last effort to find any comfort or peace I got back in school and I am maintaining good grades but a week before my sister passed We sat talking and we drifted off into  a happier place a place  we promised each other we'd  work hard to get it's a live work store front not to far from school so we can pay rent using the store merchant money and get through school using scholarships grants a flexible side job and student loans if we need and after saving a little to make sure we don't go bankrupt that we reinvest into the business to slowly grow the business and I feel like not only does it helps with the loss of my sister but if this doesn't work there's not a caring person in the world I going to just stop trying!

but hopefully someone has a heart and helps me out of slump cause I'm struggling to see the bright side